Far and away, the most popular spot for small elopement ceremonies is Central Park….and with good reason.  There are innumerable locations that are well-suited to a little wedding.  But for a real city wedding, consider the Brooklyn Bridge Park. 

Sam & Colin (natives of Scotland and New Zealand, who now live in Brazil!) came to New York and wanted to have a ceremony that reflected the vibrancy of one of their favorite international cities.  So, we hopscotched over to Brooklyn to the DUMBO (Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass) neighborhood and the nifty Brooklyn Bridge Park.  As you’ll see from the slideshow below, the Park offers a stunning sweep of New York’s skyline.  In addition, the famed Brooklyn Bridge is a stone’s throw away, making for a fabulous backdrop for wedding photographs.   For those of us who live in Manhattan, a trip to Brooklyn seems like a long way from home.  But in this case, it is well worth the trip.

For some couples, a glitzy venue in New York City isn’t their ideal location for a wedding ceremony.  Rather, they look forward to a ceremony and celebration that is enveloped by the natural beauty of the Empire state.  For, once you leave the five boroughs of the Big Apple, there are extraordinary choices for wedding locations including the beaches of the Long Island Sound, the rustic beauty of the Adirondack Mountains, and the elegant charm of the vineyards in the Finger Lakes.   For such couples, I highly recommend the Roxbury Barn, tucked in the Catskill Mountains, just north of the City.  The property is lovingly tended by my friends Casper and Roger, gentlemen with exquisite taste and an eye for detail.

The property was established by Mississippi boat Captain William Patterson in the 1850s, as a summer home. Set on 42 acres, the three story Roxbury Barn is perfectly complemented by two open fields, four ponds, a rambling brook, and a natural forest.  The barn and its surroundings function as a perfect canvass for the ceremony of your dreams.  The barn simply oozes charm, creating a handsome stage for a stylish affair.  The large fields offer the option to erect a big tent for ceremony, dinner, dancing and more.  Likewise, the luscious grounds provide a backdrop for a glorious wedding in the open air surrounded by nothing more than trees, mountains, good people, good food and good music.

So beautiful is the location, it was used for the filming of the Oscar nominated film You can Count on Me.  The rustic beauty of this venue and top-flight service of the staff will make the journey to the Roxbury Barn well worth the trip.  For more details or to schedule a visit to the Roxbury barn email info@theroxburybarn.com or call 607.326.4874.

When working with couples–even those who have attended many weddings–they are confused about “where to start” in conceptualizing their ceremony.    To address this bewilderment, I’ve created a refresher course about standard wedding design.  Even before detailed discussions about personalizing their ceremony, I encourage brides and grooms to glance at a standard order of ceremony, such as the one included in the document below.  May it be helpful to you in thinking about your ceremony!

Photo above courtesy of Jami Saunders

Your Wedding Handbook by Sarah Ritchie, Wedding Officiant and Celebrant | Make Your Own Book

I have many wonderful opportunities to officiate ceremonies for couples eloping to New York. In many instances, it is only the couple coming to the Big Apple for the big event. Other times, they are joined by a handful of loved ones. For the budget conscious couple, it is tempting to forego the expense of hiring a professional photographer…and I always invite them to reconsider this decision!

Any wedding, even a private wedding, is a milestone event. Regardless of fancy ceremonies and celebrations that may be planned after a “legal ceremony,” this is a red-letter day in the relationship. Moreover, these brides and grooms are exchanging vows in New York, a most “photogenic” city! A truly skilled photographer like Sean Kim, of Sean Gallery, can capture the joy of the occasion, regardless of the simplicity of the ceremony.

A few days ago, I officiated a most basic ceremony, to be followed up by a more exotic wedding in weeks to come.  The little wedding took place in the courtyard of the great Palace Hotel, where the brides were staying, just a stone’s throw from St. Patrick’s Cathedral.  You’ll see from this fantastic photo gallery, Sean was able to memorialize these brief, but life-altering promises, made on a special trip to one of America’s greatest cities.

I look forward to working with this gifted photographer on future weddings~

In my experience, couples consider the selection of a wedding photographer to be among the most important decisions to be made during the wedding planning.  Likewise, brides and grooms will often commence the engagement period with a photo shoot of casual and artistically interesting keepsake photos.  Often these shots are used as decorative objects at the wedding.  However, it is a rare couple that actually has the proposal of marriage captured on film!

Several years ago, I came to know Laura Pennace, a photographer based in the City.  Laura and I have worked together on two local weddings.  Our first collaboration was for Karina and Nick’s wedding during the holiday season a couple of years ago.  The Ohio couple chose to have their elopement in front of the famed Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree.  The bride looked like a dream, as did Laura’s photos.  Shortly thereafter, we did a private, “backyard” wedding at a brownstone on the Upper East Side.  The young, hip couple had a Valentine’s Day ceremony—a snowy ceremony bathed in candlelight. 

As I have followed Laura’s photography, I recently noticed that her work was focused on the Bridal Guide.  It was such a nifty story, I had to share…..  Laura was hired by a clever and very thoughtful groom who asked that she “hide” during his proposal of marriage in a local park.  Laura describes her assignment as one that drew on her “crouching tiger, hidden dragon” skills.    Months later, at the wedding, the groom presented his bride with Laura’s picture, as a truly exceptional present, captured in this photo by Alyse French.  Brilliant!  Laura’s terrific work intersected with an inspired gift giving idea.  I hope some of my readers will steal a page from this fantastic wedding playbook.  Bravo!

From time-to-time couples want an “element of surprise” in their wedding.   One recent couple asked a beloved friend to do a reading during the ceremony….something that she selected, but they would hear for the first time at the ceremony.  She selected the lyrics of the classic “At Last.”  In addition to being a favorite “first dance” song at weddings, it makes an interesting reading, too.  Rest in Peace Ms. James.  Your gifts live on.

At last
My love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song

Oh yeah yeah, at last
The skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up in clover
The night I looked at you

And I found a dream that I could speak to
A dream that I can call my own
I found a thrill to press my cheek to
A thrill that I have never known

Oh yeah yeah, and you smile, you smile
Oh, and then the spell was cast
And here we are in Heaven
For you are mine at last

Photo is from Kristin and Yong’s wedding at the terrific Metropolitan Building.  Photo is courtesy of Nick Canilang.

The following article was written by my friend Smith Moorefield, who recently married in a private New Year’s ceremony, surrounded by a handful of lifelong friends.  I think he provides some very helpful hints for those seeking stylish, affordable, and appropriate options for a small elopement or vow renewal. 

Want to get married in New York City in a small, private ceremony set in a lush, romantic setting? Try reserving a suite in one of the city’s many grand hotels and you’ll find an easy, charming and (relatively) inexpensive way to stage a memorable ceremony for you and your guests. That’s what happened for my husband and me at the Gramercy Park Hotel. We sealed our union in front of six friends in a beautiful ceremony in a plush, luxuriously-appointed room filled with original works of art,one-of-a-kind furniture, and a romantic view of the park twelve stories below.

But that’s not how we envisioned it from the beginning. We had originally planned a simple, civil wedding ceremony at city hall. But we discovered only two weeks before the wedding that our chosen day was also a city holiday and city hall would beclosed. Rescheduling the wedding was out of the question, but we realized it would be next-to-impossible to secure a suitable alternative event space at this late date. Churches and banquet halls just didn’t fit our personalities. And since the weather was too chilly, an impromptu service in Central Park or another public location was also out of the question.

So we decided to upgrade our honeymoon suite. We had already planned on abandoning our apartment in the city to celebrate our wedding night in an extravagant hotel room since we wouldn’t be able to take a real honeymoon for a few more months. We decided to find a grand hotel suite capable of serving as both honeymoon suite and ceremony site.

So we set out with a budget of $1,000 to find a hotel suite that was grand enough and romantic enough to accommodate us, our celebrant and six friends. It also had to be romantic enough to be worthy of lifelong memories of our wedding day.

 Manhattan has no shortage of grand hotels, and a variety of $1,000 suites are available on any given night. They offer a range of luxurious interior design, from the Asian ambience at the Mandarin Oriental to the French antiques at The Pierre. They also offer varied atmospheres, from the gilded opulence of the Plaza to the sleek, avant-garde character at the Standard. They also offer an array of stunning views, ranging from skyscrapers to Central Park to the Statue of Liberty. A few even have fireplaces. So, with a cornucopia of choices at hand, we began filtering hotels to find our perfect wedding spot.

Of course, checking out the rooms was no easy task. Because you can’t just walk up to the front desk and ask to peek inside their finest room, all of our research had to be done online. Most hotels have online image galleries of rooms, though even the best ones leave you with doubts about the actual size of the room and/or condition of its furniture. You can trust, though, that in the $1,000-a-night range you will not have stained rugs or water-spotted ceilings.

We started our search on the Upper East Side near our apartment. Fifth and Madison Avenues are home to many storied hotels where glamorous globetrotters have stayed over the decades. These include the Mark, the Pierre, the Sherry-Netherland and the Carlyle. Along with the Plaza and the Waldorf-Astoria, these hotels offer a traditional, festive and rarified atmosphere, with décor and ambience ranging from an English country estate to a French chateau. They are perfect for a mature, sophisticated couple whose New York dreams involve a carriage ride in Central Park and a Broadway show. The downtown hotels we researched are more suited to a younger, hipper couple. The Standard, the SoHo Grand and the Maritime Hotel offer a more minimalist, modern aesthetic paired with amazing views of city lights and vibrant nightlife scene. They were perfect for a young, high-spirited couple whose New York dreams involve a wild night out and a celebrity sighting. We were particularly interested in one of the kitschy penthouses at the Maritime Hotel. But alas, they were all booked.

As for suitability for a wedding ceremony, the more traditional uptown hotels tended to win out, offering layouts more onducive to a ceremony, with more conversational furniture arrangements and a homier atmosphere. Most suites had dining tables suitable for serving cake and champagne after saying “I Do.” And all offer complimentary glasses, china and knife for the occasion. We tended to favor rooms with more colorful fabrics and antique-style furniture. A lot of the hotels use a beige palette that didn’t feel romantic enough for a wedding to us. And outdoor space was hard to find. The rooms that did have terraces soared beyond our budget. Most penthouses had two or more bedrooms and started in the $2,500-a-night range. If you have a larger budget you should know that most hotels have their own wedding concierges who will put together the whole ceremony for you, at a price. We avoided getting this sales pitch by telling the reception clerk that we were planning a cocktail party. As for us, we settled on the Gramercy Park Hotel. Not only did it have some sentimental value to us from having stayed there in the past, it also features the décor and ambience that most reflects our personal tastes. The rooms are done in rich jewel tones, with handsome furnishings and an overall ritzy but masculine vibe. The suite’ we chose had a living room that was more than large enough to accommodate all nine of us comfortably. It even had a coatroom and a guest bathroom so no one needed to disturb our bedroom.

And we were able to easily rearrange the furniture to create a lovely space in front of the window for the ceremony. When we had said our vows and celebrated with our friends, we had the whole rest of the night and the next day to enjoy our luxurious suite. And we didn’t have to worry about cleaning anything up!

So, when we look back on our special day it will always be remembered as beautiful, magical, and very suited to us. I’m so glad city hall was closed.

Photo above and selected pictures included in slideshow courtesy of the Gramercy Park Hotel.

I have been honored to work with many gay couples since the passage of New York’s Marriage Equality Law this past summer.   Most of these couples have been partnered for many years–decades, actually.  So the wedding ceremony has a unique feel.  We are celebrating a long shared history together, the great political change of New York’s progressive law, and hopes for the future.  In December, I was blessed to work with Kurt and Billy, a lovely couple from Seattle.  They have been together for several decades, and the ceremony was sweet, intimate and moving.    A beloved aunt selected a reading for the wedding, “Blessing for a Marriage.”  The work was written by James Dillet Freeman, a favorite author of the grooms:

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring,
and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding.

May you always need one another-
not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness.
A mountain needs a valley to be complete;
the valley does not make the mountains less, but more;
and the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it.
So let it be with you and you.

May you need one another, but not out of weakness.
May you want one another, but not out of lack.
May you entice one another; but not compel on another.
May you embrace one another, but not out encircle one another.
May you succeed in all important ways with one another, and not fall in the little graces.
May you look for things to praise, often say “I love you!” and take no notice of small faults.

If you have quarrels that push you apart,
may both of you hope to have good sense enough to take the first step back.

May you enter into the mystery which is the awareness of one another’s presence –
no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side,
and war and near when you are in separate rooms or even distance cities.
May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy.
May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.

With the close of the year and the beginning of a new one, it is a good time to reflect and offer thanks.

As I ring in 2012, I am happy to recollect on the many wonderful couples that I have served this past year. I have worked with folks from many American states (Oregon, Texas, Missouri, California, Florida, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Washington, D.C., Connecticut, New Jersey, Washington, Arkansas, Missouri¸ North Carolina, Michigan, and more), as well couples coming from Canada, England, Scotland, Australia, Austria, and Sweden.

We’ve had fantastic ceremonies all over Central Park, the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, Jefferson Market Garden, on the Brooklyn Bridge, the High Line, Prospect Park, at the Rockefeller Center Tree, and in front of the Statue of Liberty.  I have been honored to participate in ceremonies at the Tribeca Rooftop, The Library Hotel, E Space, 3 West Club, Metropolitan Building, Spice Market, Le Parker Meridien Hotel, Capitale, e Square, The Brownstone, Raphael Vineyard, Columbia University Chapel, Ritz Carlton, W Hotel, the de Seversky Mansion, Gramercy Tavern, Bryant Park Grill, Battery Park Garden, 21 Club, Central Park Boathouse, 202 East, the Palace Hotel, the Gramercy Park Hotel, and, of course, the Yale Club, among others.  Finally, I had the privilege of my once-in-a-lifetime helicopter wedding, flying over Manhattan at dusk, Thanks to Anne and John, from St. Louis. 

As impressive as that was, it paled in comparison to the extraordinary piece of history that we have played a small part in over the last six months—marrying gay couples under New York’s Marriage Equality Law.  It still gives me chills!

What a spectacular year it has been. I say thank you to all of my couples, near and far, and to the terrific people I have worked with on their behalf, including gifted photographers, some of whom have shared beautiful pictures included in this slide show. I also thank my super colleague Noemie Bonnet for putting together this video! Congratulations to all! Happy New Year!   

p.s. Joycelyn & Kevin, pictured above, are among my 2011 favorites!  Their fantastic wedding at the Tribeca Rooftop was called off because of the Hurricane Irene.   They handled the setback with grace and style, staging a “do-over” in October. 

Over the holiday weekend, I happily officiated a small wedding for a work colleague and his partner. I offered my assistance in helping with a few deals, since it was something of a last minute affair. One of my tasks was to secure a cake for a group of about 8-10.

Although I wanted to find something that was modestly price, I also knew I needed a pastry that was appropriately elegant …..after all, the grooms were to hold their ceremony in one of the special suites at the ultra-fabulous Gramercy Park Hotel. Given our short turnaround time, a somewhat limited budget, and the fact that the wedding fell on January 2, 2012, the national holiday to mark the New Year, it was a bit of a challenge to find just the right dessert. But Alas, I found the perfect cake at the Magnolia Bakery.

Magnolia Bakery was one of the scores of New York spots popularized by Sex and the City. There are several Magnolia Bakery locations dotting Manhattan (along with stores in a few other American cities and, oddly enough, Dubai!). I frequent—and I do mean frequent— the store at 49th and 6th Avenue in the Rockefeller Center Complex. It is, of course, a great place for a morning cup of coffee, emergency wedding cupcakes, and other truly obscene dessert items. The stores are retro-hip, with a pleasing pastel palette, found on everything from the store fixtures to the cake frosting. And, even with the throngs of tourists visiting their store each and every day, the staff of my Magnolia Bakery is supremely cheerful. And, so, with only a couple days to spare, I ordered a 12 inch, three layer wedding cake: classic white cake and frosting, decorated with nifty red florets and leaves and a personal greeting on the top—all for $65! I picked up the cake at their Grand Central Terminal Location (which was closest to the hotel), and I scooted off to the ceremony. We completed the cake with a nifty topper that I found at my local Teuscher Chocolate store.

I stayed after the ceremony to be regaled by the antics of the gaggle of Alabamians…..as I left, I think I heard one of the guests say, “This cake is off the hook.” Mission accomplished!